Summer Stability: How to Keep the Boat Steady During the Rising Tide
Written by Dr. Donna Gilman
Kid: Mom! Our teacher told us we are going to be on summer vacation for 74 days! 74 whole days! Isn’t that awesome?
Mom: 74 days?! Awesome is not the word I’d use.
For many of us, the summer represents a myriad of possibilities and experiences. The weather finally turns warm in New England and the outdoors beckons. For those of us working on a screen all day, there’s a compelling reason to get out there and feel the sunshine on our faces, if only for a few moments. For parents, the summer means kids are out of school, which, depending on your life circumstances, can mean utter chaos, an opportunity to reconnect, or some mixture of both. With vacations to negotiate, summer camp schedules to coordinate, kids climbing the walls, childcare to arrange, summer can be a time of strain for some families
In working with couples and families, there are observable calendar-based trends in the health of families and relationships. When the temperature rises, couples tend to take a break from treatment, putting their unresolved issues on back burner until the fall comes. Historically, as soon as the kids make their way back to school in September, therapists experience a deluge in couples reaching out for help. These observations are supported by research which indicates that divorce rates soar after summer holiday.
For therapists, summer may also a time to cut back a bit on clinical hours and enjoy time with family and friends. However, there is also the clinical imperative of making sure that couples under strain who want to “take the summer off” are made aware of any pitfalls of a long break.
While we at the Couples Center honor and support couples and families in taking time off from therapy to vacation and just chill in their backyards, with the advent of online telehealth services, couples have the ability to continue treatment from home or even while on vacation, if they need additional support during the summer, or to prevent a natural regression from occurring.
While therapists at the Couples Center strive to be as flexible as possible in accommodating your summer plans, it is sometimes impossible to hold your spot for more than 2 to 3 weeks. And it may not be clinically indicated to step away from therapy for that long. As you are considering the summer months ahead, we encourage you to speak with your therapist about your plans and to gain input from your clinician about how to strike a balance between taking a break when needed, and not losing the momentum you’ve gained.
Whatever your summer plans may be, we wish you all the good things: warm days and cool nights, marshmallows on sticks with threats of poking an eye out, lazy floats in the river and the cooling relief of Aloe Vera. On behalf of the entire team at the Couples Center, we are here to support you in your continued growth and development and are grateful for your trust in us.
Clinical psychologist and co-director specializing in couples therapy with a focus on trauma-informed treatment, sex therapy, and LGBTQ issues. With extensive experience since 1995, she integrates various therapeutic models, including EFT, Gottman, and narrative therapy, alongside mindfulness and clinical hypnosis. Dr. Gilman offers transformative retreats and relationship intensives, helping couples enhance emotional and sexual intimacy by addressing deep-seated issues and fostering greater connection and resilience.
